What is this Blog?
Sticky:They are not usually written with exact measurements but hopefully do actually convey the humour and experimentation that I think cooking should be approached with.
If you want exact ingrediants and exact measures, I invite you to look at any of a number of recipe sites out there; that is not however how I cook.
I will try to post one recipe a month, and occasionally relay things that make it into my recipe hall of shame (these are recipes that are not recipes... well you'll see... I'll tag them. Maybe you'll all get a laugh too.) I might also post a few food directed rants... but hopefully not many.
If you have a recipe that I should try, join the community and post it - It will come to my moderator box and I'll try it out on my friends before it gets posted.
If you like cooking and experimenting with your cooking, come in. Put your feet up, have a cup of tea, and have a cookie, no I insist. Have another? Really just one more won't hurt. You're too skiny - eat, eat!
PS: I am not a grandmother, nor all of the recipes here my grandmother's (some will be but most aren't)
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Randomly really good Guacamole
Roses Guacamole
A bunch of Avocados - how ever many in a bag are ripe... 2 or 3 or sometimes all six.
We shall go with 6 - just scale down the recipe accordingly for less.
6 avocados
3 lemons (smallish sized lemons - about the size of your limes - use sour ones)
3 limes (or three more lemons if you don't have limes)
Garlic 6 cloves diced
Onion 2 small (baseball) sized diced onions
Salt to taste
Peel and mush the avocados up, Add onions and garlic. Immersion blend adding progressively more lemon, and lime juice.... this should be maybe a 1/4c juice maybe a bit more. You essentially add liquid until the guacamole dip consistency is correct. Salt to taste. If the lemons and limes aren't tart enough to bring out the guacamole flavour add a splash of vinegar.
Can also add tomato if you want to. Usually dice it and add it after you have the avocado mix right so it's not blended in. If you like soap tasting things you can also add cilantro at this final step (but I don't like it). Or some hot peppers for some zip (I find that I typically have salsa so don't need zip in the Guacamole.
Store the mix in the fridge overnight for best most tastiest dip... assuming you just don't eat it all trying to get the taste right. ;)
Lucy's Dills
Aunt Lucy's Mustard Pickles
Cochinita Pibil
3-4 lb pork shoulder roast
1c orange juice (or orange mixed with lime juice)
1/2c lime juice (or so)
1 tsp Salt
Sometimes a bit of hot pepper is nice in this... depends I use what ever I happen to have in this regard.
3oz anciote paste (You city folks can find this at a mexican or south american food store.... for ...the rural people (or you who'd rather make their own)...
Achiote Paste:
3Tbsp annatto powder,
10 cloves garlic,
1c bitter orange juice <-or 1/2c orange juice and a 1/2 cup lime juice,
2 tbsp coriander seeds,
1 tbsp Kosher salt,
1 tbsp cumin,
1 tbsp black pepper corns,
6 allspice berries,
3 cloves.
Grind the hard spices, process garlic and orange juice into a paste, mix in the spices, store refrigerated in a glass jar. The annatto stains things a bright orange. Makes enough for about three recipes of pork.
Okay back to the pork recipe...
cut pork into 2 inch nuggets, marinate 4-24 hours in the OJ, lime juice, salt and anchiote paste.
Slow cool 3-4 hr at 325F in a large casserole tightly wrapped in foil... or just use a slow cooker.
Shred meat with forks
Garnish with fried red onion, cilantro, lime, mexican cheese (or really any white shredded or crumbled cheese)
(Traditionally you wrap the pork in bananna leaves and cooked in a pit)
I tend to serve it over rice or as the meat in a wrap... but really it's edible by itself or however you like (if you are watching the carbs).
(Makes a good filling for Tamales though I suspect not entirely traditional)
Ginger Squash Soup
- Squash or zucchini or pumpkin or anything squash like – cubed (the amount depends on how large your squash like object is. I usually 2 use medium sized butternut squashes)
- Broth enough to boil the squash in - the less broth the thicker the soup (two boxes ~1L sized ready to use broth is the amount I typically use – chicken, beef, veggie, whatever broth you like or mix a couple)
- 1 large onion sliced
- Ginger to taste (I used lots of fresh ginger myself - about a one inch chunk grated)
- Optional: 3 cloves of garlic.
- Salt and Pepper to taste
- Cream (one 1L half-half cream if you are working on the above measurements)
- Vinegar or lemon juice (the amount you use depends on the tartness of the squashes, sometimes it takes very little, sometimes it can take up to a half a cup.)
Notes
- This soup does well in a frozen/thawed scenario, though making multiple batches is better than doubling the recipe.
- You can roast squash to make it easier to take out of its shell, though I often don’t bother and just peel and cook the squash in the broth.
- If you have a lactose intolerant person add a bit more broth instead (though not the full amount as you would if you were adding cream) and a very small amount (a tablespoon) of cornstarch whisked into a bit of cold broth and added gradually to the soup while stirring)
Gluten Free Goodies
This is a collection of gluten free goodie recipes that my friend Sheila has made for Christmases past and handed out as care packages for her gluten intolerant friends (and we are all happier and pudgier for it)
:)
Peanut Butter cookies (an old favorite)
2 c peanut butter
2 c sugar
4 eggs
Mix all together, roll into balls, flatten on pan. Bake @350 til golden.
Pecan Crescents
1/2 c butter
1/4 c icing sugar
1/2 t vanilla
1 c rice flour
3/4 c finely chopped pecans
pinch allspice
pinch salt
Mix all together. Roll approximately 1T dough into crescent shape. Bake @ 350. Roll hot cookies in icing sugar.
Shortbread
1/2 c cornstarch
1/2 c icing sugar
1 c rice flour
3/4 c butter
Mix all together. Chill dough. Poll out about 1 cm thick and cut desired shapes. Bake @ 350 till lightly browned.
Butter Tart Bars
Base:
mix together 1 c rice flour
3/4 c tapioca starch
1/3 c brown sugar
2 T potato starch
1 t xanthan gum
add 1/2 c butter . mix and press intoparchment lined 9" pan. Bake 1o min @ 350
Filling:
2 eggs beaten
mix in 3/4 c corn syrup
mix together and add
2T cornstarch
1/2 t baking powder
1/4 t salt
1 c raisins
1/2 c walnuts
Pour filling over base and bake @ 350 for 30-35 min till firm. Refrigerate overnight before cutting to avoid crumbling.
Soft Sugar cookies
2/3 c shortening (I use butter)creamed
add 3/4 c sugar
1/2 t vanilla
beat in1 egg and 4t milk
stir in 2 c flour blend*
1 1/2t baking powder
1/4 tsalt
1 t xanthan gum
Chill 1 hour. Roll to approx 1cm thick and cut into desired shapes. Bake @ 350 till lightly browned.
*flour blend
2c white rice flour
2/3c potato flour
1/3c tapioca flour
No Bake Cheesecake
Because everyone is busy for the holidays and there are times when you need to put your friends into a sugar coma quickly, here is my recipe for cheese cake.
Disclaimer: This has completely no health benefits... but neither did my last recipe. I promise I'll post some of the more healthy recipes in upcoming months... but it's That Depths Of Winter Festival season (of what ever stripe you believe) ... mid winter feasting is all about pushing evil goodies on the people you love, the people you love to hate, and everyone in between.
Plain no bake cheese cake
Ingredients
1 package (8 oz) cream cheese
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
1/3 cup lemon juice
About a teaspoon of vanilla
1 graham cracker crust (I use graham cracker pie shells when I make this for others… but you could bake a pie shell and use that or make/buy any other sort of crust you think will go... for my gluten intolerant friends I highly suggest one of two options - cornflake crusts or just pour the cheesey goodness into small bowls.)
Something for topping.
Directions
1) Precook crust if required
2) Heat cream cheese in a microwavable bowl for 30 sec – just to soften it… or you can let it sit at room temperature for a bit to let it soften… or you can mix it with a spoon until soft.
3) Gradually add the can of sweetened condensed milk while blending (I use an immersion blender but you can use a mixer or a blender or you can blend it by hand but that’s the hard way). Work in all the condensed milk so you have a uniform un-lumpy consistency.
4) Add the lemon juice and vanilla in gradually while blending.
5) Once it’s a nice smooth mixture (taste it, add extra flavour if needed… really you probably don’t need to taste it, but you know you want to)
6) Pour it into the pie shell (make sure if the pie shell needs to be cooked you do that before hand and cool it before pouring the cheese cake into it)
7) Cool one hour to overnight in the fridge (again, as with the previous recipe, it might be worth locking the fridge door against intruders)
8) Top with whatever fruit or sauce you like
Options and Subsitutions
For other flavours of cheese cake – instead of 1/3 cup lemon juice add:
1) Powdered baking chocolate and sugar dissolved in warm or hot water…. Slightly stronger than if you were making hot chocolate with powdered chocolate… so that’s like 2 tablespoons powdered chocolate to 3-6 table spoons sugar… depends on your taste… and just enough boiling water to make it sort of liquidy, increase the proportions of this until you get 1/4 cup.
Sometimes the chocolate will make the cheese cake runny and it won’t harden again (in which case you have chocolate cheese cake desert soup – which still tastes fine) so err on the side of too little liquid in the chocolate rather than too much. You want just enough that the powdered chocolate and sugar doesn't have a gritty feel to it. You can also try melting bakers chocolate and adding some of that straight to the cheesecake batter (I have had less success with that though… because it doesn’t have as strong a flavour as the powdered chocolate.)
The whole adding chocolate takes a bit of playing and depends largely on what you use for chocolate. If you want a perfect chocolate cheese cake be prepared to do some testing of your protocol beforehand (which, I know is sooo hard because the evidence of failure must be eaten) . Alternately you can give up on mixing the chocolate into the batter and either crush oreo’s into the mix (cookies and cream cheese cake) after it’s blended or add chocolate chips (chocolate chip cheesecake), or use chocolate sauce as toping instead.
2) Add 1/3 cup of the juice and some fruit from just about any fruit to make a fruit flavoured cheese cake but make sure there is a tang to it… or add half lemon juice and half the juice/fruit. Do not use a sweetened fruit juice or sugared fruit in the recipe (you run the risk of making it inedibly sweet.)
To make swirl cheese cakes you take some (a half cup or less) of the cheese cake “batter” out once mixed add a concentrated amount of flavour/colour of choice to the batter. Then pour the non-flavoured one into the pie shell, drizzle a nice design on the top of the cake with the coloured stuff, then take a knife and push the coloured stuff down into the batter (you can get all barista on it and make fancy swirly designs if you want, but don’t swirl it so much that you lose the definition between the colours.
Akemi's Evil Bacon Cheesy Goo
I got this recipe from a friend and have spread it like the amorphous blob of evil goodness that it is. It is probably my most requested recipe.
Akemi's Evil Bacon Cheesy Goo
Ingredients
Bacon
MacLaren's Imperial Sharp Cold Pack Cheddar Cheese
Cream Cheese
Pecans
Directions
1) Fry Bacon till crispy... how much bacon this could probably be better answered by asking yourself how much bacon do you have to spare? I usually fry from half to one package of bacon.
Maple bacon is good, Apple wood smoked bacon is decadent, but really any bacon will do... actually that's not quite true - low salt bacon tastes like low salt bacon in a salty recipe... blech. I've never tried turkey bacon - that seems somehow wrong for this sort of evilness.
2) Turn crispy bacon into slightly largish bacon bits. (chop it up or crush it ... or, well, I'm sure you can think of a zillion ways to turn bacon into bacon bits.)
3) Chop pecans (or better yet buy chopped ones) into smallish chunks a couple handfuls should do it.
4) Heat the MacLaren's Imperial Sharp Cold Pack Cheddar Cheese and the cream cheese on low heat with continual stirring until melted
5) Mix in bacon and pecans. This is a dip so you need the amount of bacon and pecans to not over take the delivery ability of the cheese.
Do not let the cheese burn.
6) Once everything is mixed nicely pour it into a serving dish (it tends to burn if left in a hot pot).
Eat immediately while hot. I suggest for propriety sake you use evil cheesy goo delivery mechanisms like bread or corn chips rather then a spoon.
If for some reason you need to take evil cheesy goo somewhere other then your kitchen table, you can pour it into a casserole dish and store in the fridge overnight. I vote locking the fridge to keep others out, since polite notes don't work - such is the nature of evil cheesy goo. When you get to your destination, if you can get through the shambling hordes without loosing the cold evil cheesy goo, you can reheat it at 350C for a few minutes (up to 15 minutes if it's really cold) until it's warm and gooey again before serving.
And to all my non-bacon eating friends, or those with lactose intolerance. I'm sorry this one is just not for you... you might be able to find a substitute for the bacon, but the MacLaren's cheese is sort of a necessity.